She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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