I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
