I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
