Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
