Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
In America we eat man semen.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
