I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
well you can't waste a boner
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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