I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
