Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
