Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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