Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You pole danced in your parka.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
