He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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