How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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