so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
