Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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