Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
