He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
