He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
