there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
