Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
