I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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