brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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