Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
