your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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