This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
