This is not my ceiling
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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