This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
