hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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