Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I skipped work to stalk him.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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