Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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