dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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