What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize