I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
