Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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