xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
