I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
