He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
