NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
