Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it š
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
Randomize
