I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
