Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize