You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
