I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
