There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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