just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize