i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
