is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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