oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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