The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
