I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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