fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
