Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
