Me too!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
