he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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