I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
