Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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