do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize