Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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