You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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