Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I never want to see another naked old woman again.

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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(214): View more from Texas

It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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(310): View more from California

I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.

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(706): View more from Georgia

they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.

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(217): View more from Illinois

She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

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(518): View more from New York

I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas

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(434): View more from Virginia

Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda

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