Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize