Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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