I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
