if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
