My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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