im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
