the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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