i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dignity is for republicans.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
