So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
