I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
