i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
