im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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