what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
