I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
