I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
