there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
