booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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