Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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