despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
